Only Human
by RaindropsAndRosepetals
Summary: Set during after the end of the show. The team has always been prepared for anything, but what happens when they have to face something they've never faced before? Couples: BBxRae, CyxSarah RobxStar, and maybe JinxxFlash. Slightly dark themes.
1. Introduction

**A/N Obviously, this is very short, but it's only an introduction chapter. The others will be as long as they usually are. I hope you enjoy! **

* * *

He could feel it.

The monster was pacing back and forth, back and forth, clawing and yowling to be let out.

He was losing control.

He was having dreams, terrible ones of killing and blood and violence. It yearned for the horror and hate it spread throughout him.

On most days he could control it, he could suppress it, force it back into it's cage and pray it wouldn't escape. Then there were days like today. Days that he had to hide and fight.

He always won. He was always stronger. But this time, this time he was weak.

This was a battle he wasn't going to win.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed! **


	2. A war not to be won

**A/N: I hope you all enjoy! **

* * *

It happened on a Monday.

Garfield stumbled slowly out of bed and stretched his tired, and slightly sore muscles. The smell of waffles made his stomach growl as he yawned.

Scratching his head, he made his way down the hall towards the common room.

Once in the common room, he was greeted to the site of his friends, and he grinned. "Morning, guys."

"Beast Boy! Did you do the sleeping of a baby?" Starfire questioned.

He chuckled and nodded. "Something like that."

He sat down on one of the chairs and looked over at the resident empath. "Good morning, Rae."

She nodded, but didn't look up from her book. "Garfield," She greeted.

He wrinkled his nose at the use of his real name. "Whatcha reading?"

"Shakespeare."

"Cool, cool." He drummed his fingers against the table and she sighed.

"Garfield?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you nervous?" She questioned.

He wasn't expecting that question, and he looked slightly taken aback. "W-what?"

Rolling her eyes, she repeated herself. "I said, are you nervous?"

"Pffft, me? Nervous? Ha! You're funny, Rae."

She gave him a skeptical look, and he knew she didn't believe him, but for some reason, she let it slide, going back to her book.

Cyborg turned away from the kitchen stove and the smell of sausages filled the air. Beast Boy winced and looked at the tray. "How can you eat poor, defenseless animals?! You might accidentally cook me one day!"

Robin smirked and folded his newspaper, setting it down. "I think we'd know something was wrong if he was cooking green sausage."

Beast Boy glared at him. "Whatever, Bird Boy."

Robin shot a glare back to him, but before he could reply, Starfire stepped in. "Please! Let us not fight on this glorious day!"

Robin sighed and looked at his girlfriend. "Yea, alright."

Beast Boy smirked at the boy wonder. "Whenever you wanna apologize." He said cheekily.

"Come on, B, you know you want some!" Cyborg held the plate up to his nose. "You know they smell delicious."

Beast Boy masked the animalistic growl that came out of his throat by gagging. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't eat that stuff if you payed me!"

Another growl came from him and he stood up. "I-I need to shower!"

He could practically smell the disbelief coming from Raven. God, why did she have to be so smart?

* * *

He stumbled into the bathroom and slammed the door shut, locking it tight. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He yelled, hitting the sides of his head.

The voice was getting louder, more powerful. He turned the sink on and splashed his face with the icy water. "You can do this. You _have_ to do this. Just stay calm."

He splashed his face again, and when he looked up, he saw that his eyes were white and in slits. He gasped and stumbled back from mirror, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "No, no, no, no, no!"

He tripped on the edge of the tub and went tumbling down, pulling the shower curtain down with him. He hissed in pain when he hit his head on the wall, making him even angrier and a deep growl rose from his throat.

"Dammit!" He cursed, rubbing his bruised skull. A swift knock on the door caused him to panic. "Um...occupied!"

"It's me." The dark girl spoke quietly, as always. "I can feel it, you know."

Beast Boy bit his lip and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "F-feel what, Rae?"

She was silent for a moment. "The fear." She finally whispered. "And the nervousness, and the sadness, and the rage."

He remained silent and she took that as his ok to continue. "I can help you suppress it."

Beast Boy took a shaky breath in. Out of anyone in the tower, Raven was the only one who could truly understand what was going on with him. Not having to worry about it was a wonderful thought but..he didn't want to turn into her, as harsh as it sounded. He didn't want to hide his emotions..he loved to feel, even when they were bad. Sure, she had become more open now that Trigon was gone, but she was still reserved, and he couldn't live like that. It would kill him.

"Rae..I..-" He was cut off by the sound of the alarm going off and he groaned. Great, just what he needed right now.

He tossed the shower curtain off of his body and stood up. Walking closer to the door, he reached for the doorknob, but her voice stopped him. "Just think about it."

Not wanting to face anyone, he waited until the smell of tea and lilacs traveled down the hallway.

* * *

Beast Boy walked into the common room and everyone stood up when they saw him, rushing out the door. "Come on, the T car's waiting." Cyborg stated, ushering him forward.

The changeling brushed him off. "I'll walk." He stated, morphing into a hawk and flying down the hallway.

* * *

When Beast Boy landed, he saw several cars had been turned over and multiple trees had been torn from the ground. He heard a loud groaning come from behind him and saw Cinderblock's hand swinging towards him. Before he could react, he was already flying through the air, and before he could think to shift, he was already landed on the hard concrete.

The first one by his side was Robin. The others continued fighting while Robin assessed him. "You have to go home!"

"What? Are you kidding me?! There's no way in Hell-"

"I'm not asking! It's an order!"

Beast Boy glared at his leader and morphed into a crow, flying back to the tower.

* * *

The changeling stomped through the hallway towards his room, only stomping when he smelled someone in Ravens room. Getting prepared, he forced the door open to find Adonis going through her things.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He growled.

Adonis smirked and tossed one of her books back onto her table. "Nice to see, Beast Boy."

Beast Boy glared at him and repeated himself. "I said, what the hell are you doing?!"

"She's beautiful isn't she?" Adonis questioned. "Raven, I mean. Feisty, but beautiful. I was just coming to pay her a visit, but I see she's not here, so I'll be on my way. Shame really, I had so much..planned."

Beast Boy's eyes darkened as he stared at the villain. "She wouldn't let you get three feet before she blasted you out the window."

Adonis chuckled. "She wouldn't have a choice, not with this." He lifted his hand to show a needle filled with clear liquid. "It would've paralyzed her."

Beast Boy growled and stepped forward. "Don't say another word."

"Oh, don't worry, she still would've felt everything."

"I said shut up!"

Adonis grinned and looked at him. "I would've made her love it." He sneered. "I'd be so much better then a green freak." He spat, chuckling slightly.

Beast Boy felt it. The pain, the anger, the fear. And then it happened. He didn't know how to stop, he didn't known if he wanted to. The last thing he saw before his world went black, was the terrified face of Adonis.

* * *

When the Titans returned home, they would find Beast Boy, hovering over the beaten, clawed, and dead body of Adonis, rocking back on forth as he let out choked sobs, mumbling nothing but "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Over, and over again.

The beast had won.

**A/N: Lots of cliffhangers ;) I hoped you enjoyed! **


	3. Snakes and Birds

**A/N: I hope you all enjoy! This chapter isn't very exciting, but it's really focusing on every ones feelings. I would love to get ten reviews for this, but I'm grateful for all of them.**

* * *

"I think he's coming to."

"I'll be in my room."

The voice was familiar, but it sounded different. Slowly, the changeling slowly opened his eyes, wincing at the brightness of the infirmary lights. He groaned slightly and the face of his best friend came into view. "C-Cy?"

Cyborg gave him a sad smile as he looked down at him. "Hey, B, how you feeling?

Beast Boy sat up against the pillows. "Weird." The ghostly chuckle inside his head made him wince.

Cyborg sighed and pulled up a chair beside him. "B…Do you remember anything?"

Looking down at his lap, the changeling nodded. "Yea.."

Cyborg rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to say. "Listen, B-"

"Can..can you please just go away?" He croaked, tears forming in his eyes.

Cyborg nodded and placed a metallic hand on the boys shoulder. "I..I felt like a monster, after my accident. I moped and felt sorry for myself, for months. I wouldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I felt like my entire world had just ended. But then, I realized something. Sitting around, and being depressed wasn't going to help anything, so, I started to train. I got used to my new body, and I didn't feel as bad. Soon, I realized I wasn't a monster, I was just..different. What I'm trying to say B, is that, you're not a monster."

Not looking up from his lap, Beast Boy played with his fingers. "Then what am I?"

"You're human." And with that, his best friend walked out of the room, leaving the boy to his thoughts.

* * *

Robin sighed as he stared in the mirror, mask off. He always had the answers, but this time he had no clue what to do about Beast Boy. Every idea, every plan, they just didn't seem right. The cops were out of the question, but someone was bound to get suspicious eventually. He didn't know a lot about the villain, but he knew most of the ones he had encountered in the past had at least family member, or friend that would notice their absence, and he was sure the same went for Adonis. At the moment, Robin knew absolutely nothing, but one thing. Beast Boy had broken one of biggest rules a hero could break. They could injure, they could scare, hell, they could even maim, but under no circumstance, could they ever,_ ever_ kill.

* * *

Starfire laid on her bed, Silkie close to her side as she pet him gently. The shock of what happened was starting to fully sink in. Sighing, she sat up slowly and put her feet on the floor. "I do not understand." She mumbled quietly, twirling her thumbs. Starfire knew that not everyone thought she was intelligent, sometimes her teammates didn't understand. She wasn't confused, she knew exactly what had happened, but she just didn't _understand_. She didn't understand why everyone in the tower was acting like the world was ending. Adonis was horrible, he did horrible things, was it not good that he was gone for good? She understood that they had a rule, but she truly could not understand the problem.

* * *

_"Mama, why do the snakes kill the birds?" _

_Marie Logan smiled down at the five year old child as he gently tugged on her pant leg. She bent down so she could be eye level with the boy. "Why do you ask, my voeltije?"_

_"Mooomm," He whined. "I don't know what that means!" _

_Marie giggled and ruffled his blonde hair, something he hated, causing him to pout. "Don't you remember? It means little bird, because you're my little bird, my voeltije."_

_Garfield tilted his head. "Then, you must not like me very much." _

_Giggling more, she fixed his hair and looked at him. "And why is that?_

_"Because," He started, standing up straighter, something he did when he was going to say something extra smart. Well, extra smart for a five year old, that is. "The snakes eat the birds! Ex..ep..especially the little ones, mama, everyone knows that!"_

_Smirking slightly as she noticed her husband creeping up behind the toddler, she replied. "Well Gar, you're different from all the other birds." _

_Tilting his head quizzically, he chewed his lip, trying to figure out how, but when he couldn't he gave up and looked straight at his mother again. "How am I different?"_

_"Because, Garfield, you'll always remember to fly away before the snake can get you!" At that moment, Mark decided to make his presence known to his son, and he lifted him up, twirling him around quickly. _

_"See!?" Mark yelled, shaking with laughter. "You're flying!"_

_Garfield squirmed around and flailed his arms around in the air. "Dad! Put me down!"_

_After twirling him a few more times, Mark set him gently on the ground, and he turned back to his mother. "You still didn't answer my question." He stated grumpily, but with a small smile. _

_Marie smiled up at her husband. "I'm sorry, baby, what was your question again?"_

_Huffing with slight annoyance, Garfield repeated the question he had asked earlier. "Why do the snakes eat the birds? Are they evil?"_

_Marie opened her mouth to answer, but Mark beat her to it, crouching down to his sons level. "Son, there's no such thing as evil in nature. You see, it's exactly that, nature. The snakes don't eat the birds because they're evil, they do it because they're hungry, and birds are their natural prey. They don't do it because they don't like the birds, they do it because they don't know any better. Do you understand?" _

_It took him a few moments to fully comprehend what his father was saying, but eventually he nodded in understanding. "Thanks, dad."_

_Mark smiled and give his son a quick hug. "Anytime, now, why don't you run off an play?" _

_Garfield giggled and nodded, running off into the jungle. "Don't wander to far!" Marie added. _

_She smiled and turned to her husband, kissing him on the lips. "You explained that better then I ever could."_

_He grinned and swung his arm around her waist. "Don't I always?"_

* * *

The present Garfield looked down at his hands. "If there's no such thing as evil in nature, then what am I?"

He gently pulled out a worn photo from the pocket on his uniform, softly brushing his thumbs over the faces of his smiling parents. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He looked at his mother and remembered her sweet, soft voice, and began to sob. "I'm sorry, mama."

* * *

**A/N: Is anyone else crying?**


	4. Normalcy

**A/N: I'm sorry this update took so long. I hope you enjoy.**

* * *

Beast Boy's dreamless sleep was interrupted by a swift knock on his door. He groaned softly and pressed his into his pillow. "G'way" He mumbled.

"Not happening." A dry voice replied.

It was hard to tell that it was Raven. Her voice was more hoarse than usual. Had she been crying? The door slid open with a hiss and he felt something land on top of him. "Get dressed. We're going somewhere."

"Raven," He started, sitting up, using her actual name. "I'm not goi-" She was already gone.

Beast groaned and wiped the sleep from his eyes. His cheeks were slightly sticky. Tears, he realized. He looked at what she had tossed onto the bed. It was clothing. Jeans and a black t-shirt. He contemplated tossing them onto the floor and rolling back over to sleep more, but his stomach growled and he sighed. He stood up slowly, his legs shaking as he hadn't been on them in a while. He gave the bed a longing look as he walked towards the door. The hiss made him jump. He couldn't figure out why.

* * *

They were staring. He knew they were staring. They knew he knew they were staring, but they all pretended anyway. He sat next to Starfire who tried to flash him her award winning smile, but it came out like a grimace. Or maybe he thought it did. Cyborg stood behind the counter, cooking as usual. Robin was drinking coffee and reading the news. Raven was missing. Cyborg cleared his throat, trying to clear the silence. "Tofu bacon?" He offered, for, basically the first time ever.

It took him six seconds to respond. He counted on the clock. "Regular."

He pretended not to notice that Robin's hands froze for a split second, and that Starfire's eyes widended just the tiniest bit. Maybe it was in head. "..Sure buddy." Buddy. That was new. He didn't like it.

After they ate, he tried to do the dishes. They wouldn't let him. Rest, they told him. He didn't want to rest. He wanted to make it better. Doing the dishes was small, but it was something he'd never done before and he just wanted to make everything..normal. Nothing was normal about them. Nothing was ever going to be normal. On his way out, Robin gave him a subtle look. He was trying to say he understood what Beast Boy was going through. Beast Boy stared at him for a few seconds before looking down at the floor. Robin didn't understand. No one understood.

* * *

When he got back to his room, he sat back on the bed. He looked around at the white walls and his fingers twitched. He took the picture out from under his pillow. He brushed his thumb over the faces of his parents. He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to remember the smell of his mothers perfume and the way her arms felt when she hugged him. He couldn't find the memory. He tried to remember what his father smelled like. He couldn't find that memory, either.

"You have her eyes."

He jumped and whipped around to see Raven. Her face was expressionless, like usual, but there was something extra there. Under the surface. Behind her eyes.

"What the hell are you doing, Raven?"

She ignored him, walking over to him and sitting next to him on the bed. The blankets moved underneath her. Their legs almost touched. "Her eyes," She continued, looking at the picture he held in his hands. "And his smile." He scoffed and gently shoved the picture back under the pillowcase.

"Raven, look-"

"You aren't dressed." She stated, interrupting him.

He scowled at her. "And I have no plans of getting dressed, either."

She looked at him for a moment. "They wouldn't want you to stay in here all day."

He opened his mouth to reply, but she teleported out of the room. He stared at the pile of clothes for a good ten minutes before taking off his uniform and putting on the clothes she had given him. He found a hoodie on the floor, assuming he missed it earlier. He put it on and zipped it halfway, pulling the hood over his head. His ears made the hood look pointed and he hated it. He hated it.

* * *

He walked into the common room and saw no one but her. She was still wearing her uniform. "Where are we going?" He questioned, already exhausted.

"You'll see." She grabbed his hand before he could protest, and teleported them out of the tower. Raven let go of his hand he dropped it to his side.

"Why are we at the park? Please Rae, I just want to sleep." His voice cracked, but then he felt a tug on his jeans. He looked down to see a boy, no older then six. He gasped slightly.

"It is you!" He screamed in excitement, getting the attention of every other person in the area. Suddenly he was surrounded by kids, some young, some older.

Raven took a step backwards, carefully fading into the background. A small smile graced her lips when she saw the joy the children caused him.

Suddenly, Beast Boy could remember how his mothers perfume smelled.

When the crowd faded, Beast Boy walked over to her. "I-"

"You saved me that day. I never said thank you. So, thank you."

"I didn't save you, I murdered someone."

"_You_ didn't."

"But something inside me, a part of me, did." He shoved his hands into the pockets of the jeans in case she attempted to teleport him again.

She stared at him for a long while, trying to search his eyes for something. What, he couldn't tell. He squirmed uncomfortably under her gaze and she averted her eyes. "Let's go back, it's getting late." She levitated and flew off. He morphed into a hawk and followed her.

* * *

They landed on the roof of the tower. "Why did you take me there?" He asked her.

"Because I know how happy fans make you. You deserved a few moments of happiness."

He looked at towards the city. "I won't have any fans when they all figure out what I did."

She grabbed his shoulder. "No one will find out. I give you my word."

He turned and looked her. "You don't look at me like they do." He stated

She looked like she was thinking. "Because I don't see a reason to look at you different. You're not different. You made a choice, the right choice. A bad part of you took over, but that bad part is still a part of you. It doesn't make you different, it makes you normal. You're still the same idiot who makes stupid jokes. The sky doesn't change when it has clouds, when it has rain, when it has stars. It's still the sky. And you're still Beast Boy."

And with that, she teleported back to her room. Beast Boy looked out at the city again. And suddenly, he remembered how his mothers arms felt, and how his father smelled.

But he knew that it wouldn't last. They were fleeting smells and feelings. He looked back at the tower, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and tried remembering what normalcy was. It was Cyborg making jokes, Starfire filling the tower with her happiness, Robin bossing everyone around and Raven being..Raven.

He stared at the tower and the blinked once. And suddenly, he couldn't remember Star's laugh. He couldn't remember the sound of Cyborgs victory cheers. He couldn't remember Robin's secret looks at Starfire. He couldn't remember Ravens rare, but hypnotizing smile.

All he could remember was the sounds Adonis made. How his blood had felt on his hands. How he screamed. The way his last breath sounded.

He looked at the tower, and blinked one, two, three times.

* * *

In the morning, Raven would find his note, and she would cry at the last line he had written. _I can't remember what it's like to be human._ She would sit on his empty bed, and find that the picture of his parents remained there. And she would tell the others, and they would search. But if they had learned anything in the past years, it would be that it's almost impossible to find someone who didn't want to be found.

And Beast Boy didn't want to be found.

He wanted to be lost.


End file.
